Annyeong 2014!

Omg its been like forever...
My last posting is about my chambering and guess what i'm officially a lawyer now!
okey juz got my order.. no pc yet but do i look like i care????
ha3 i'm still officially a lawyer!
okey sad and devastated news i'm not being retain...
once my senior told me that my boss would x fire me but he will refuse to retain me... thats mean you are x good enough for him...
he3... sorry Mr. H i'm not good enough for you...
But Alhamdulilah 'm happy with my new office..
yes2... my paid is x that much but get a life guys 
we are talking about Muar...
how high this small city can pay u?
So i'm happy with what i have now but still hoping for the best in the future..
still pour all my effort to my novel..
its been so long that i left my writting so need to finish it...
he wish me gudluck..
aja! aja! hwaiting....
Gambate kudasai...
ceema...

Saya happy...

kehidupan memang banyak dugaan...

setiap yang kita lakukan pasti ada dugaannya...

mana ada perkara mudah? kalau kita nak dia akan datang bergolek-golek...

x mungkin okey... everything mesti ada pengorbanan nya...

Alhamdulilah pengorbanan saya semakin nampak hasilnya...

saya semakin bahagia dengan kerja...

kehidupan semakin bahagia... 

family saya bahagia...

Amin...

Semoga Allah merahmati kehidupan kami sekeluarga...

Semoga Allah merahmati sahabat-sahabat saya...

Amin....

Saya nak baby!

Salam ollz....
bila tgk ibu2 bawak baby2 mereka hati rasa macam nak experience the same thing lah...
would it be nice to have our own baby....
to cuddle to kiss to bite the cutest baby ever!
Argggghhhh i want one!
but i need a husband first...
so husband one please!

I'm longing for baby!

Apa kabar guys!

wah... serius lama gile xupdate!
nothing much juz busy with life...
i'm beginning ny life as a chambering student for 9month
must be strong and learn 2 play it cool babeh!
work hard rite now to chase the permanent status! hopefully my master would retain me lorrr...
btw happy belated bufday 2 my dearest chinggu SALINA BINTI HAMZAH...
May Allah bless u and all your hardwork!
'Saranghe yo!

whats wrong with me

my heart feel so stuffed rite now...
need some oxygen!
need something to distract my mind...
oh hopefully i can passed dis feeling sumday...
hating myself rite now..

Lamaran ke itu?

okey ingat lagi x xbf saya Faizal?
hari tue dia kol and we talked for several hours...
updating stuff semua...
then we talk about the reason why we break up semua...
partly my fault and partly for sure his fault lah kan...
tiba-tiba dia pop up dis question...
"Jom Kahwin..."
What the fish! 
pas2 sy reply balik...
i told him that it is not nice playing with others heart...
kahwin bukan pekara main-main
yang boleh dibuat gurau semua...
then dia balas and dia cakap dia xmain-main and dia serius...
dia cakap umur 25tahun nanti saya datang rumah awak masuk meminang...
masa tue kalau awak dah ready ke x kita kahwin...
he sound so serious masa tue...
dia pun ada cakap yang pernah tak i asked him why our relationship end just like that?
then i sentap sekejap hu3 u know why?
because i never bother to asked because i'm putting all the blame to him..
i'm busying being the good ones at that time.
Faizal cakap dia buat semua tu untuk kami. dia nak fokus in building kerjaya dia so that we can proceed with the next step..
so guys what do you think?
adakah itu satu lamaran?
atau faizal just nak messed with my mind?
ha3 one way to find out adalah by waiting until 25 and we see whether dia betul2 datang meminang or x...
=) right now one thing je yang i wish for...
i wish i can find someone who can guide me and can accept me and my family as how we are...

my stupidness is beyond stupidity!

Stupidness? do that word even exist? i dint'n know and in fact i do not even want to know
rite know i feel so stupid and i want to blow my head off with any explosive things!
give me a grenade!dynamite! or anything!!! i want to blow this stupid head of mine...
why i always keep on falling to the same shit all over again...
why i have to fall with sumone who clear enough just want to take advantage on you...
owh maybe because you stupid???
yeah i am an idiot because i fall for an asshole like him...
i keep on stalking his page eventhough he dump me just like that...
why i keep waiting like he would come back to me???
wake up idiot he is not going to come back...
get hold of yourself and move on...
what he want from you is just pleasure and you no that rite...he is no sincere with you you moron!
thank god you are not that stupid and give what he want...
why girl you keep on attracted to a guy that have their dark side more than their good side...
why!!!!!!
he told you rite no attachment in this relationship but still you fall for him and now you keep looking at his hideous page and wining that he just online 6 hours ago! do he even bother to text you???? no rite so get your ass up and move on girl... don't you ever look back again...
let this one time stupidity pass you by... yeah its hurt but it would kill you if you keep holding on to this unrequited love like this... 
van voyage you asshole!!!!!!

Goodbye 2012

2012 was the most hard year for me...
nothing to write...
but one thing for sure this year do taught me to be strong
for the sake of those i love and treasured so much..

Missing Her

Oh God we miss her so much...
especially during this time where she should be busy preparing hari raya cookies...
hu3 only my mom that excited baking a cookies...
i know my abah also sad but he have to suppresses his feeling for us..his children
yesterday he went to the place he always go with mak...their dating place...
i know he misses her..
so are we abah...
she was the best mak i ever gonna have...
nobody can replace her that's for sure.
she was the most brave and courage women i ever found in my life...
a woman who never afraid to face a hard life... facing cruel fate because she always believe that someday she would be success in her life. 
But we can only make a plan as Allah S.W.T knows better...
she gone without having the opportunity to change her life...
it's okey mak... akak would make it come true... your dream is now my goal...
i would keep my promise to you... 
Akak would be strong for the sake of our family...
we would always stay together...
I love you mak...love you so much...
May mak rest in peace among those who believe... Amin

Selamat Tinggal Mak...

my late mother and father

Akak tahu hari ini akan tiba juga mak

tapi akak xsangka sepantas ini ia akan terjadi...

hancur luluh hati akak ni bila melihat mak terbaring 2 hari di katil hospital...

mak nampak lemah sangat...macam xbermaya...

Mak masih boleh tersenyum pada hari pertama mak admit wad...

pagi tu pun mak boleh buat lawak dengan akak dengan doc tapi

6.30 pagi sabtu mak collapsed! mak xsedar...

akak takut sangat masa tu mak...

macam2 bermain dalam fikiran akak...

kemudian mak stabil... akak kol abah

abah sampai akak cium mak sebab akak nak balik tukar baju sekejap

tapi tiba-tiba abah call akak minta akak naik balik kat wad...

rupa-rupanya mak collapsed again.

tapi kenapa nampak lebih serius? doktor semua mengelilingi mak..

Doktor jumpa akak mak.. doktor explain yang mak tenat... keadaan kritikal jadi silalah hubungi ahli keluarga yang lain... akak berlari ke abah.. abah macam nak pengsan bila dengar yang mak tenat...

Akak call moksu sebab akak ingat moksu saja masa tu mak

kemudian mak di hantar ke scope untuk keluarkan darah mak...

Mak ada internal bleeding!

doktor delivered the news that mak suffer internal bleeding then usus mak luka sebesar 2 sentimeter!

Ya Allah semakin hancur hati aku...

Mak stabil sedikit tapi jantung mak laju sangat!

Akak takut sangat mak..

Pagi tu mak taknak pandang muka akak dan adik-adik pun...

Mak xsampai hati eh mak?

Jam 10 pagi hari isnin doktor cari line untuk masukkan darah then nak hantar scope lagi...

tetapi mak tiba-tiba tenat semula...

tepat jam 12.50 hari isnin mak telah menghembusakan nafas yang terakhir...

Ya Allah rasa nak terduduk akak dekat situ...

Abah dah menangis...

Sopi datang peluk akak suruh akak sabar...

Akak kena sabar demi abah dan adik-adik

Akak tersenyum depan semua mak.. akak kena tunjuk kuat demi semua

Biarlah akak menangis bila akak sorang2 nanti

Mak akak rindu sangat-sangat dengan mak

Mak adalah kawan terbaik yang akak ada...

Mak adalah mak yang terbaik bagi akak

Terima kasih kerana melahirkan akak

Membesarkan akak... sanggup hidup susah untuk akak dan adik-adik

Semoga roh mak dicucuri rahmat dan mak ditempatkan di kalangan orang yang beriman...

Amin.

Raya terakhir bersama mak

mak and abah

Inchik Bakal Lawyer =)

Assalamualaikum Inchik Bakal Lawyer (IBL) 

Saya suka awak lah... 

tapi saya x harap pun awak suka saya jugak...

jadi awak jangan lah rasa malu kalau awak dapat tahu nanti yang awak ada secret admirer...

saya dah puas dah dapat tengok awak dari jauh...

awak xperlu pun nak balas pandangan saya tu..

cukuplah sekadar saya seorang saja yang tersenyum bila terpandang awak...

x perlulah awak tahu yang senyuman saya itu untuk awak dan x perlulah awak balas pun 

senyuman saya itu...

saya bagi free je khas untuk awak...

IBL...

Awak comel sgt kadang2 saya tengok tapi kadang2 saya rasa serabut tengok awak

tapi apa2 pun awak tetap saya suka...

tapi cukuplah kalau rasa tu saya seorang sahaja yang tahu IBL...

nanti awak pulak yang serabut...

Saya doakan kebahagian awak yek...

Walaupun bukan dengan saya...

tapi xpe sebab bila awak bahagia saya pun bahagia...

normal lah kecewa sekejap tapi semua itu akan berlalu...

dan bila saya pandang kebelakang nanti saya akan tersenyum

kerana saya pernah menjadi seorang secret admirer kepada awak

IBL...

dan ia akan menjadi satu memori yang indah!

Bila inchik nak datang ek?

Adoiyai post punya tajuk xboleh nak bla tapi that's the fact!

Bila inchik Betul nak datang dalam hidup saya hu3...

hari tue berbual dgn my fren nie... dlm diam dia ada crush dekat inchik engineer nie and inchik engineer pun macam feel the same way...

adoiyai bahagianya!

kwn sorang lagi pulak ada inchik manager and inchik doctor tgh approach dia...

awesome wei!

my other friend pulak incik bakal pemandu kapal terbang taw sedang menanti...

Terbaik...

ada sorang lagi kawan inchik bakal politician (not malaysian taw)

wargh!!!!

kawan satu lagi dah kawin pun dengan incik wartawan!

Alhamdulilah jodoh dia dah sampai 
sorang lagi kawan nie incik betul dia memang sentiasa dengan dia daripada adik angkat sampai dah steady and dah fikir nama anak hu3..
marvellous!

aku??? 

emm tue yang duk bertanya dan menanti bila inchik betul (Mr.Right) nak mai...

ada crush dekat satu incik bakal lawyer nie tapi kan dia xsuka aku lah hu3...

sodihnya hati ini...

macam mana nak cari jodoh kalau apa yang kita idamkan macam susah je nak gapai ek...

inchik bakal lawyer pun mungkin xpernah perasan kehadiran aku dekat sini...

xperlah inchik bakal lawyer...

itulah nature seseorang yg ada crush...

kami hanya boleh tgk dari jauh...senyum sorang2 berangan apa yang perlu then lupakan hu3..

nothing more or nothing less...

inchik bakal lawyer pun xperlu lah tahu kewujudan saya yek!

hopefully inchik betul saya akan muncul juga someday...

and masa tue saya dah bersedia untuk menjadi ur Mrs Right...

saya sedang prepare to become ur Mrs right sekarang nie dan saya harap awak pun sedang menyiapkan diri untuk jadi inchik betul saya...

=)

The Final Destination!

oh yeah!!! after walking with cautious... 
then running without stopping or even dare to watch back because i afraid that i'm maybe stumble like before.. 
stopping at many pit stop to arrive to the final destination...
The final semester!
the path before was hard but this new road i'm heading would be more challenging then before.
Don't be afraid... march forward and do your best!
Because even though it's hard but you still have to carry on for the sake of them... the one your love...
Beside always remember that you have the Do'a from your parent with you and Allah would always be there for you... 
Wish me all the luck and may i become one of the lawyer in Malaysia!

Aku Seorang Cleaner part 3

sedar x nurse3 nampak mesra depan orang ramai?
tapi adakah itu realiti atau sekadar ilusi?
semalam seorang nenek tua mintak di cuci kan or tukar pampers i dun know lah
dia mintak aku tolong inform nurse so aku pun bagitahulah..
then dia juz mengangguk je..
emm xpelah janji aku dah buat part aku kan..
tapi masa aku tengah mengemop tue aku tengok nurse-nurse tu xbergerak pun dari kaunter dia...
makcik 2 dah terjerit2 dah diaorang buat xtaw je..
boleh sembang pasal majlis tunang anak..anak nak amik muet lah...
kita bersangka baik jelah mayb diaorang penat nak 2kar pampers makcik 2 sebab dia diarrhea.
tapi bukan itu ke kerja diaorang??? macam kerja claner macam aku ni kutip sampah sapu sampah...
bile kite xbuat kerja elok diaorang laju je complain so boleh x kita complain pasal diaorang  lak?
emm betul ckp bos kan depan pesakit memang nampak mesra tapi depan cleaner macam aku ni kita kena banyak bersabar...paham2 jelah ye kenapa... =)

Aku seorang Cleaner part 2

life is not always fair lorr...
especially if ur are a cleaner...
why?
because everybody is like above u all...
they look down at u like u r not worth even a penny lorr...
we are just an aunty or a kakak that pick and throw a rubbish for you
but  at least give us some respect...
just because u have a cleaner doesn't mean that u cannot even pick up ur left over bread on the floor!
damn!!!!
we are a worker not ur slave for God sake!

aku seorang cleaner part 1...

Dah almost 3 weeks aku bercuti...
aku kalau cuti2 nie memang selalu berkerja...
yelah buat tambah2 pendapatan hu3...
dah macam2 kerja aku buat...
kerja kilang...cashier kedai and even mak guard...
sekarang aku bekerja as a cleaner!
awal2 aku kerja aku asyik ditanya dengan soalan yang sama...
"adik kau xmalu ke kerja nie?"
malu??? bohonglah kalau aku x malu tapi sekejap je malu tu...
lama2 aku dah malas nak fikir...
aku terfikir kenapa aku nak malu?
mak aku bekerja sebagai cleaner untuk membantu abah aku for more than 10 years...
if mak aku boleh buat kenapa aku tidak?
so daripada aku malu baik aku kerja je... janji tiap2 bulan dapat gaji
ahaks!

Trip to PLKN Padang Hijau!

ollaz all...

today i skip from work and went to Kluang to visit my adik at PLKN

huhuhhuhuhu..

kinda miss him lorrr..

my adik is so funny u know

i always told him he can join raja lawak =p

we chit chatting 

having lunch under a palm tree

 


laughing and enjoying our day togethe
he would be discharged from there in this coming mid july

waiting forward to see him!!

here some pic to share with ollz


my bro Ezzy Safwan bin Haron

my lil bro Mohd Ezren Azrol bin Haron

mak, awan n abah

mak awan and me

me!

Life is unfair!

Arghhhh...
what the heck is going on rite now!!!
I never knew that my lecturer was this damn bias!
IF YOU JUZ KEEP DOING THIS BULLSHIT 
I WOULD NEVER FORGIVE AND FORGET!
we are all your student sir!!!
don't favour one student and neglect the others!
how do you feel if we neglecting you!
Avoiding you huh!!!
Get a life sir!
i know you are smart and all but still i cannot accept someone who is bias as my teacher!
it is unacceptable!
Arrgggggh hate u so much rite now! not going to ur tutorial next week! juz cannot stand your face rite now!
damn!!!!

man decides to change in the 12th hours but dies on the 11th

I'm always thinking when i should change?

when i made up my mind.. there must be something occur..

then i started to forget my determination..

then i thought to myself..

"hey life is still young babe..chill out...you got an ample time in front you"

is it true???

do we actually have a lot of time...

do you ever think that when you decide to change in the future but then you died before that..

you do not even have time to repent and ask forgiveness from Allah S.W.T and with others...

we can never predict the future..

times would never wait for us...

i really hoped my changes would last...

i'm not saying that i'm totally changed

but still i'm trying 

so let's all change for the better..

we never know what would happen in the future rite..

i wish all the best to me and to all of you..

lets change in the 11th hours and don't wait to change at the 12th hours...

Adakah Kebanyakan Student Law mengalami Stress yang Berlebihan..

Adakah?????
entah lah saya susah nak komen..
tetapi sekarang nie saya memang didalam keadaan yang stress...
Everything not going in a way i want it to be..
this week was a horrible..
how many my cute mouth swearing pun i already lost count..
too many thing to be done and due at the same time..
my tears keep pouring when i'm tired..
waaarghhhh...
i miss my abah and my mak!!!!
wanting to go back home sooo badly...
please Allah give me strength so that i can go on..
passion is all you have now so be patient and Insyaallah your effort would be
worth it....